Hmm. Where to begin? This wasn't a very nice day, all things considered. It was mostly Clare's fault.
Right. That's the petulant bit done with. I *actually* think that it would have been a lot nicer if Clare wasn't so bloody obstinate and self-assured, but that the blame goes around a fair way. Myself included.
Hmm. Is that fair? Was I really at fault, beyond failing to make allowances for Clare?
I can't really think of much I actually *did* wrong, except that blasted prank, but I suppose my attitude didn't help. Then again, you can get a lot of milage out of being righteously indignant. Look how Clare had everyone running around to apologise.
Hmm. So, my attitude causes problems with Clare. What to do about it? Actually, I don't think I will. Telling them how I actually felt would lose the sympathy vote I achieved, and being any more fluffy and nice would just get me ignored. So I guess I'm stuck with 'I'm young and distracted, make allowances!'.
She'd better, too. I'm not playing the game by her rules unless she starts playing by mine. Then again, she spent a hundred years breaking horses, so I imagine she thinks of this sort of thing as normal when meeting people. Oh well, let her play her games, I have something I have to do, and after that I doubt it'll matter, anyway.
Hmm. That prank. Don't think I really care to remember it. Something just screwed up really badly there. I still think the plan should have worked, but I don't think I'll waste the effort next time. And the cheek of Clare: "I entirely disapprove of such behaviour..." We *told* you what we were doing, and you didn't bother to disapprove *then*.
Coenna. I think she really is devoting her life to trying to be awkward. Seriously. She seems to be deciding things solely on the basis of what she thinks will piss me off most. I don't really think I need devote any more attention to her - this isn't a democracy, so her vote doesn't count anyway.
Hmmm. Then again. Elaine seems to be enjoying the attention, maybe I should try to keep her convinced it annoys me. She has more sense than to pick up Coenna's bad habits - and if my assumptions about Reality are correct, it'll do her good. I guess I'll keep Coenna amused if I have the time to spare.
Prospero, however, I can get along with. He claims to be very blunt, to avoid all the petty politicing you otherwise get into asking how someone's day was. I think he was just doing it because he and Clare had been going out of their way to wind each other up. Certainly, it seemed to do the trick. He also appeared capable of at least considering my point of view, which makes me reasses his position as 'Member of this venture most out of touch with people'.
Anyway, we managed to spend two weeks discussing various topics without once needing to explain to the other quite where they got their reprehensible views of the rest of the world from, which is at least two up on any Amberite I've spoken with at length as yet. I may suggest some more collaborative research into modifying my Teleport to cross between the multiverses - at present Clare has a disturbing stranglehold on any research we might feel like doing.
Hmm. Drat. I thought I was doing that because it was an interesting problem, with a useful application. Now I discover that I was going at it to piss Clare off. Oh well, it's still a useful result. And I think I'm making real progress.
Now, what I want to know is quite why Clare claimed she thought I was trying to kill her. It was quite plain that I wasn't - I was clearly looking for a solution to an intractable advesary, who wouldn't even justify her position. I don't even think she was using it as an excuse not to talk to me. And it seems a little petty for it to be an attack.
I rather suspect she was hoping for protection from me. Which means, I think, that she's expecting to really piss me off sometime. Now it's possible that she's just assuming I'm out of control, and will flip as soon as she starts trying to 'help' me some more (and quite why help and explanation are mutually exclusive, I don't know). Alternatively, she really is going to piss me off, and she knows it.
In which case, I have the moral high ground, and I'm quite happy to occupy it for a month. Tamash seemed quite happy to list her defences, which was awfully nice of him - and he didn't manage to convince me she was safe. Not that I told him that, of course. Anyway, I think the worst I'd get out of Clare betraying me would be a tangible target.
I've been wanting one of them for months. It might actually be rather fun.
Reading over that bit, I do sound a little keen to kill her, don't I? I don't think I am, really. I think she's just managing to associate herself with... Well, whoever destroyed Home. Actually, she is probably capable of having done it...
But I have no reason to think she did. So I'll just hope she manages not to convince me she wishes she had. Anyway, she might actually have a point about being best qualified to work out who did. So I'll assume she's basically on the level, with issues.
Anyway, she has now agreed to act reasonably in the investigation of what happened to Elaine. This time, *I* defined reasonably, and with witnesses. So I'll concentrate on that investigation for a while.
Other than that, we're still looking at Corwin's universe. I have a couple of ideas about Shadow Earth I must talk to someone about. Tamash, I guess, since it's him and Clare monopolising our transport. Tomorrow, I think. After we've had a go at this trump.
I really want a target I can actually aim for. I hate waiting on others' machinations, and grasping at fog.